The sun shone yesterday, but inside of me confusion, anxiety, and desperation roiled. Sunday. Church. Mother’s Day. And all I can think of is me. I try not to. I beg God to stop my mind from obsessing over every piece of my life. Good, bad, not yet come to pass, it doesn’t seem to…
Tag: hope
Clothed in White
It started with an Easter dress. It ended on a cross. Growing up, Easter meant a new dress, church, and a basketful of treats. After moving out and living my own life through college and medical school, I’ve come full circle in some ways. When I got sick at 27, my parents again became my…
Hosanna
Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! The crowds surging around Jesus as he rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday joyfully echoed the words of Psalm 118:25-26. In the ESV translation, this psalm says, Save us we pray, O Lord… Blessed is he who comes in…
Under Threat of Darkness
I feel like a shell – hollow, like an Easter egg. Such utter emptiness is welcome, because otherwise what fills me is pain, torment, and anger. Sometimes, when the depression invades, hollowness is a gift. I have always written from my heart and my heart is crying out right now. Tonight, though, truth and light…
The Mystery of Holiness
I say “holy crap” far too often. I suppose there are worse things to say, but the casual and even crude ways we use the word “holy” these days has contributed to a corrosion of the meaning of the word. As I study the book of Exodus, having recently walked through Hebrews, the import and…
An Altar of Earth
“An altar of earth you shall make for me and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your peace offerings…. If you wield your tool on it you profane it. And you shall not go up by steps to my altar, that your nakedness be not exposed on it.” -Exodus 20:24-26 The pagans of ancient…
Faithfully Falling Blind
Staring out at the pouring rain Wondering why I ran away I know He’s near, I know He hears But knowledge won’t erase my fears I fear the lonely nights The helpless falling from imagined heights I fear, my God – I cannot see And all the while He calls to me Trust and wait…
A God of Fire and Grace
The story of God giving Moses the ten commandments is so well known that most people picture similar things when imagining it. For me, I think of shaking ground, deafening thunder, and a mountain shrouded in fire and deep darkness. I think of Moses walking down a mountain with two heavy tablets of engraved stone….
The Humility of the Lord
Today, I’m simply writing a word of encouragement, and I’m writing it mainly because I need it. Today marks the first day of my first “real” job since becoming ill. I’m desperately afraid that I’ll say something stupid or my employer will find out what a mess I am. I read some Psalms this morning,…
Our Finest Gifts We Bring
Unto us a child is born, unto us a king is given. Today we give thanks for the greatest gift ever conceived, the gift of everlasting life, held in the hand of a newborn child. Countless carols describe both the ripples of power emanating from Bethlehem that first Christmas night, as well as the world’s…
Before the Fire 