For a long time, my family and friends agreed that the only life I could be entrusted with was that of my cactus, Jed. Then Jed, unlike all my previous plants, didn’t die. He grew. In fact, he tripled in size and is still going strong. So, having proven myself worthy of parenthood, I adopted…
Tag: faith
Mercy
Yesterday, an 18-year-old man, barely out of childhood, walked into an elementary school and murdered 19 children and two teachers. Children. I don’t know why he did it and I’m not going to wade into the gun rights debate. As an American, I’m past the point of asking why and wailing, How could this happen?…
Weep With Me
Sometimes it’s easy to see why the “health and wealth” perversion of Christianity is so popular. Just be a good person, just check off these boxes, and life in this world will go well. I’m a box-checker by nature. I have five whiteboards in my house devoted to various lists of activities. But I also…
This Is the Day
The sun shone yesterday, but inside of me confusion, anxiety, and desperation roiled. Sunday. Church. Mother’s Day. And all I can think of is me. I try not to. I beg God to stop my mind from obsessing over every piece of my life. Good, bad, not yet come to pass, it doesn’t seem to…
Clothed in White
It started with an Easter dress. It ended on a cross. Growing up, Easter meant a new dress, church, and a basketful of treats. After moving out and living my own life through college and medical school, I’ve come full circle in some ways. When I got sick at 27, my parents again became my…
Under Threat of Darkness
I feel like a shell – hollow, like an Easter egg. Such utter emptiness is welcome, because otherwise what fills me is pain, torment, and anger. Sometimes, when the depression invades, hollowness is a gift. I have always written from my heart and my heart is crying out right now. Tonight, though, truth and light…
The Mystery of Holiness
I say “holy crap” far too often. I suppose there are worse things to say, but the casual and even crude ways we use the word “holy” these days has contributed to a corrosion of the meaning of the word. As I study the book of Exodus, having recently walked through Hebrews, the import and…
An Altar of Earth
“An altar of earth you shall make for me and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your peace offerings…. If you wield your tool on it you profane it. And you shall not go up by steps to my altar, that your nakedness be not exposed on it.” -Exodus 20:24-26 The pagans of ancient…
Faithfully Falling Blind
Staring out at the pouring rain Wondering why I ran away I know He’s near, I know He hears But knowledge won’t erase my fears I fear the lonely nights The helpless falling from imagined heights I fear, my God – I cannot see And all the while He calls to me Trust and wait…
A God of Fire and Grace
The story of God giving Moses the ten commandments is so well known that most people picture similar things when imagining it. For me, I think of shaking ground, deafening thunder, and a mountain shrouded in fire and deep darkness. I think of Moses walking down a mountain with two heavy tablets of engraved stone….
Before the Fire 