Yesterday, an 18-year-old man, barely out of childhood, walked into an elementary school and murdered 19 children and two teachers. Children. I don’t know why he did it and I’m not going to wade into the gun rights debate. As an American, I’m past the point of asking why and wailing, How could this happen? The only words that came to me yesterday afternoon as I read the “Breaking News” alert were, Have mercy on us, Son of David.

The world today is a tangle of pain, pride, and desperation. I see war in Europe, perpetrated by a man whose appetite for power will never be sated. I see Brazilians living in terror due to the reign of ruthless drug lords. I see women, orphans, and children dying in India because they are too poor to be vaccinated against Sars-CoV-2. I don’t have to look overseas to see the corrosion of a society by evil – greed, pride, and a thirst for violence drip poison into every town in America. In Noah’s day, God sent a flood to cleanse the earth. When I read about the murder of 10-year-olds in an American school, I think fire poured from heaven would be more appropriate.

Who are we? Not a child-killer, you might say. But placing the guilt solely on the shooters, warlords, and drug cartels – marking ourselves as only the givers of “thoughts and prayers” – is not accurate, either. Some of the arguments about the absence of strong communities and the lack of good role models have merit, but that’s not what’s on my mind. Back in Noah’s day, God could have simply sent lightning through the hearts of each murderer, pedophile, and thief. Why, then, an all-consuming flood? The worm of pride and hatred, the fatal worship of all but God – none were innocent. None of us.

Perhaps it is unusual that a horrendous act of violence – against helpless children, no less – has brought not my virtue into focus, but my guilt. The Bible tells us in three separate places, There is none who does good, not even one. (Ps 14:3, 53:3; Rom 3:10) Death dwells in all of us, both the capacity to deal it and the hopelessness to avoid it. The wages of sin is death, after all. It could have been a flood; maybe it should have been.

Jesus died on the cross to buy back the life of the man who killed 19 children yesterday. And you know whose life cost just as much? Mine. Yours. Your parents’. Your children’s. The world should bring you to tears, but not just through the blatant horror of yesterday’s shooting. How amazing is it that our world, plagued by every kind of evil imaginable, brings God to tears as well? Fire from heaven or a raging flood – every person that walks this earth deserves both. Instead, we are cleansed not by burning flame or drowning water, but by the gentle grace of God alone.

My feelings roil today at the pain and terror of small children in the face of sure death, but for some reason, I feel no anger toward the shooter. I’m not thinking about who sold his gun or why it was so easy to get one. Today I only feel the world’s pain. I ache for suffering parents, refugees, and victims everywhere. But the pain does not drown me, and the comfort of God’s grace helps turn my mourning to prayer and my anguish to steadfastness.

The world looks like it’s falling apart because it is. Only, it’s been falling apart from the beginning; God always knew he would replace it with something better. So, don’t avert your eyes from the crimes mankind commits against itself, but do not be dragged into despair, either. Hope, for the pain will end. Hope, because the gift of freedom costs nothing to us. Hope, because no bullet can harm your soul. Hope, because, one day soon, Jesus Christ will come back for us. All the pain and guilt and suffering will be washed away, and we will worship our Father God in heaven with the innocence of a child.